Fairy Tales
by DragonGem5
Summary: Basically, just a ton of different pairings involving either actuall or made up fairy tales... with no refernce to the actual story on my part.
1. Classic Princess

Cat giggled as she walked to the manufacturing plant. The walk from her apartment wasn't too far, and it wasn't as though she didn't have a car, or in her case, oddly built yet functional motorcycle. Yet she preferred walking. And it helped her get ideas.

"This is going to be so much fun." She snickered as she slipped past Jazz, who was making sure she didn't sneak anything in again. Picking up Shock's box of scorpions, she tucked it into her "hammer-space" bag, as Juju called it. Speaking of Juju, she was sitting on the couch with Shiva and Mar, watching what looked like…

"Uncle Jack!" Cat lunged at the TV, only to whack her head on the screen and slide down it, landing on the floor with a "plop". Juju and Mar burst out laughing while Shiva just shook her head. Jazz blinked and looked over there before shaking his head. Couldn't stop her if she was already inside…

"Sorry Cat, we forgot you actually lived in Halloween Town…" Shiva smiled as she paused the movie. Cat smiled back and climbed on the couch, snuggling between Mar and Juju, mainly by pushing Mar closer to Shiva. Juju and Shiva giggled as Mar hissed at Cat, who just purred and leaned into Juju. As the movie played, Cat passed her plan to the three of them.

"This might work." Juju said after the movie ended. They had to keep Cat from glomping the television when the Oogie Boogie song played. Cat grinned.

"It'll work easier if you guys help me. Keeping Optimus from finding out will be hard enough…" Cat grinned even wider. She and Juju were still in trouble with Sentinel for the scorpions, and technically, she wasn't allowed back until the desert arachnids were gone. This is why she had stopped by. "And I need to get these back to Shock. She fell off the couch when I told her what happened." Cat laughed and waved good bye. Tomorrow they could get started.

-The next day-

"So, Bee, I was thinking that maybe you could help me with my art homework. We're supposed to draw something in a surrealist style, and…" Cat was cut off by Bee shaking his head no.

"Last time I posed for you, you tried to auction me off to some guy named 'Joker'. Forget it." Bee said as he started to walk away. Cat smirked and pulled out a needle.

"I thought you'd say that." She grinned as she slipped the needle under the armor seems near his ankle and released the sedative. Bee was just about to yell for help when he slipped into unconsciousness. As soon as he was under, Cat gave Shiva and Juju the call. They then gave Mar the signal to distract the other Autobots.

A few hours later, Bee woke up in a forest clearing, his head pounding. Groaning he sat up, only to find that he was wearing some kind of prince outfit, and that he was chained to the boulder.

"Primus, what that girl comes up with to get out of her homework… The next time I see Cat, I hope Prowl or Optimus is nearby. She never does this to them…" Bee grumbled as he sat there. He tried to call for help, but something was blocking his com, and he couldn't call anyone. Or receive any of the calls Prime was making, trying to figure out where he was. After a few moments, he heard crunching noises. Hoping it was one of his teammates, he began calling out.

Megatron was walking through the forest to clear his head after yet another argument had broken out between Blitzwing and Lugnut. Those two idiots could go about five minutes without fighting before Random switched in and said something Lugnut took offense to. Sighing, he leaned against a nearby tree, causing it to crunch a bit. That's when the yelling started.

"Guys, I'm over here!"

Megatron knew that voice better than most of the other Autobot voices. Bumble Bee. What in the Pit was he doing out here on his own? Had he followed one of his teammates and gotten lost? Walking toward the yelling, he soon caught sight of the little yellow Autobot. Someone had chained him to a boulder and dressed him like a prince from one of those fairytales Random insisted on reading aloud whenever he had the chance. Just then the roaring started. Bumble Bee flinched at the sound, and then started screaming. Megatron turned to see a large grey beast with wings land near the yellow bot, pushing him back onto the boulder.

Bee practically flipped out when he saw the creature, recognizing it as a dragon. Cat had been showing Juju a website with pictures of this thing, just in different forms. What was it she had said about them? Western dragons were malicious creatures with bat-like wings that kidnapped princesses and princes, roasting the knights that came to their rescue… there had been something about Eastern dragons too, but that wasn't as important. So if he was the prince, then who was the knight? None of his teammates were anywhere near here, and it didn't look as though Cat was going to be any help. She was the one behind all of this. The dragon roared again as it stalked closer, grabbing his train of thought once more.

Megatron growled as the creature stalked closer to _his_ Bumble Bee, and he began searching for an impromptu weapon. His gun wouldn't do much, and there was a chance that he would also hurt Bumble Bee in the process. Just then, he noticed a sword sticking out of the ground. Perfect. Grabbing the large weapon, he wretched it out of the ground with a roar that got the beast's attention. Turning to face him it roared right back and began stalking towards him, hissing like a cat.

Bee couldn't believe his bad luck. First Cat drugged him, then she chained him up and dressed him up, created a dragon to terrorize him, and now Megatron was here. Great. If this was her version of a fairy tale, he was not going to like the ending. Come to think of it, Shiva and Juju had gone for a walk earlier, and Mar had just wanted to sleep on the couch… Frag it; Cat had gotten help from Shiva and Juju on this! When he got out of here, he was going to get them back faster than Blur could run!

Megatron had thought Starscream was hard to fight, if only because the annoying glitch kept coming back online. The dragon was larger than he was, and it had both claws and teeth he had to keep at bay with the sword. The beast wasn't breathing fire, thank Primus, but it was still seemed to be hunting him. The beast lunged at him, claws out and mouth open. Megatron managed to whack it in the head with the sword, not that it did much. The creature shook its head and snarled before lunging again. This time Megatron managed to bury the sword in the creatures chest, causing it to let out one last roar before it slumped to the side and fell down.

Bee actually had to catch his breath from watching the fight. Megatron had looked almost… knightly. His faceplates began to heat up as Megatron pulled out the sword and walk toward him. When Megatron was close enough, he was about to say something, but fell quite when Megatron raised the sword. Ducking quickly, he heard the sound of metal against metal. Looking up he noticed the cuff on his wrist had been cut.

"How did this happen?" Megatron asked as he helped Bumble Bee to his feet. The Autobot seemed to be suffering the effects of some kind of drug, as he fell closer to Megatron after taking only one step. Bee tried to answer, but for some reason, he couldn't talk. His faceplates heated up even more, and he braced himself against Megatron's chassis. Megatron leaned down and stared at the Autobot, who was staring at him. Megatron smiled and lifted the younger mechs chin upward. The bot didn't even put up a fight as Megatron claimed his lips in a heated kiss.

"Ah… that's so sweet… I'm glad you guys helped me with this." Cat cooed from her seat on a high branch. Shiva and Juju grinned back.

"Are you kidding me? This is fun." Juju quietly giggled back.

"I just wish he hadn't wrecked that dragon we'd spend all night building…" Shiva sighed. "But to get the video and to see this makes it worth it."

Cat grinned widely. "We can always fix the dragon. Let's get out of here before Megsy notices us. I'd rather not get on his nerves at the moment."

The other girls nodded and they carefully climbed down Marie's back before slipping away.

"You know, when that drug wears off, Bee's gonna kill us."

"If he's not too sore from the 'thank you for saving me from the nasty dragon' present Megs is going to get."


	2. The Nymph

Prowl groaned and rubbed his helm. Where was he? Glancing around quickly he noticed that he was in a forest glen with a pond. He must be on Dinobot Island. Cat had mentioned knowing about this spot… Cat! Frag it, she was behind this! Thinking back, he tried to remember what she had been talking about with Shiva and Juju…

-A few hours earlier-

"Cat, for the last time, I am not interested in another one of your fairy tales." Prowl grumbled as he tried to meditate. Cat, Shiva, Mar and Juju were sitting on the couch, Cat reading from an old book in some odd language. Cat stuck out her tongue and frowned.

"It's called 'The Legend of the Nymph', Mr. Smarty-pants, and it's a Rumanian classic. Maybe if you listened, you'd like it. Be glad I can translate." Cat hissed as she resumed reading. Prowl simply roll his optics behind his visor and tired to concentrate. Surprisingly, the story seemed to be soothing, and soon his was asleep and deep in recharge.

"What the-" Cat looked up from the book when she heard what sounded like soft snoring. Looking over her book, she noticed that Prowl had fallen asleep. "Oh… He looks like a nymph sometimes…"

"I know where this is going…" Shiva grinned. "And I'll help."

"Me too!" Juju jumped up excitedly. Mar just sighed.

"Are we going to need to distract anybody this time?" She asked. Cat shook her head and smiled.

"They're all out on patrol… And even with BA on Dinobot Island, we shouldn't have any problems… I've been meaning to visit her." Cat smiled. "I even know the perfect spot to leave our 'nymph'."

-Now-

Prowl sighed and looked at his reflection in the water. He was wearing a white silky piece of cloth that wrapped around body, mainly hugging his hips. At least none of his teammates knew about this… When Cat came back to get him, he was going to give her a very stern lecture. He couldn't help but feel like an exposed femme. It didn't help the cloth was see-through, and that the majority of it was wet. As long as no one found out, he would be just fine…

"Well, now what do we have here, darlin'?" Prowl's optics widened and he blushed as Lockdown walked closer. The larger mech was looking him up and down, taking in every last detail of the cloth and the way it folded over his body.

"L-Lockdown, stop staring, I feel exposed enough in this thing…" Prowl growled as the bounty hunter walked closer. Lockdown couldn't help staring, the fabric was cut just right, flattering every curve of Prowl's body. His only problem was the water.

"Don't worry, darlin' I'm not steppin' foot in that stuff. Got dunked in the lake there and spent a week cleaning off the rust." Lockdown replied as he stopped at the water's edge, sitting in a way that wouldn't get him wet. Prowl stared before smiling. Cat had dumped Lockdown in the lake after he had whistled just to get the skirt to blow up. She wasn't the kind of girl to let that kind of thing slide. Not even with any of the Autobots.

"You do realize she was going to do more damage if Juju hadn't stopped her, right?" Prowl asked as he stayed seated. There was no way he trusted Lockdown, even if the bounty hunter wasn't getting any closer. He wasn't going get closer either. Lockdown just huffed and nodded. The bounty hunter had learned very quickly that Cat's temper caused even more problems than her insanity. He had been looking for an Allspark Fragment that she was using as a pendent for a necklace when he'd found that out. And he wasn't even the one who had been in the brunt of it. Starscream had.

"Don't remind me. How'd this happen? Not that I'm complaining darlin'…" Lockdown flashed a playful smile at the ninja bot, which got him a splash of water in the face as a response. Prowl explained once he was sure Lockdown was going to stop with the sly comments about his appearance. When he was done, the bounty hunter just laughed.

"That's why you don't stay around her too long, isn't it?" Prowl hissed as he splashed him again.

"Gah! Watch it with the water kid." Lockdown put up his servos to protect his faceplates from the liquid. This only made Prowl realize that he could torment the bounty hunter all he wanted, and the two were soon soaking wet.

"Man, it felt great to see Arachnia again… I wonder how Prowl's doing?" Cat asked as she walked ahead of the others.

"He's gonna lecture us until doomsday." Juju groaned. "He's been there for the past three hours."

Cat stopped short, causing Mar to walk right into her.

"Cat, what is wrong with you?" Mar hissed before looking over Cat's shoulder. "Oh.

Shiva and Juju looked over to see Prowl in the middle of a water fight with Lockdown, who was losing badly to the younger mech.

"Let's go back to the plant. Optimus and Ultra Magnus can lecture us for all I care. I'm not stepping in that." Cat whispered. The other girls quickly agreed, and the four of them snuck back to the plant, the mechs completely unaware that they had been watched.


	3. Sleeping Beauty

"I'm bored…" Cat grumbled as she sat on the couch with Shiva, Juju, Mar, and Sari. The three older girls nodded in agreement.

"Oh, come on, just because we're watching Sleeping Beauty does not mean you four have a right to complain. We already watched one of your movies." Sari sighed as she got up. "I'm gonna grab a soda. Cat, don't you dare change the movie."

When she was out of earshot, Cat pulled out a sketchbook. "Check it out. I went over some of my old fairy tales again, and since Bee ruined my sculpture last week, I came up with a way to get back at him." She turned the picture of Sleeping Beauty in a long black gown over to reveal a plan involving knock out drops and the repaired dragon-bot. "And I call distraction this time."

Shiva looked at the notes. "We mimic a Disney movie? Doesn't really sound like revenge… Oh wait, he's going to be in a dress…"

Cat nodded. "AND I feel that I kinda owe someone an apology, so we can now begin the guessing on the "Prince Charming"… Unless you can read my handwriting." She smiled. Shiva looked over the notes again before showing Juju and Mar. Juju giggled and Mar just shook her head.

"You didn't learn anything from that lecture we got from Ultra Magnus last time, did you?" She asked Cat, who was busy messing with the TV set.

"Nope, I was too busy playing with my puppets… There!" Jumping back onto the couch, she made it just before Sari came back with her soda. "Hey, Sari, we paused the movie for ya."

Sari blinked. "Cat, what did you do?"

"Nothin'. Now sit back down so we can get this torment over with…" A few minutes later, Cat was running out of the manufacturing plant, Sari throwing popcorn at her as she laughed.

"I don't remember Sleeping Beauty ending with a dragon eating everyone…" Juju said as she sat on the couch. Shiva and Mar shook their heads. Figures Cat would mess with the movie after being told not to…

The next morning Shiva and Mar slipped out early to go get things ready. It didn't take too long, mainly because they had been beaten by Cat on some of the preparations.

"Wow… no sword this time… then what's the dragon for?" Mar asked as Cat picked up her wrench.

"I'm making a few modifications to the programming, but instead of attacking Megatron and Bee, it should act as a mount… Like a horse." Cat explained as she tweaked a few wires. "Done. Now for the distraction phase."

"What about getting Bee here?" Shiva asked, only to have her question answered by Juju walking up, Bee carefully balanced in one hand. "Oh."

"Make sure the video cameras are set up! I've got mayhem to cause!" Cat called back to them as she ran off.

"Wait. How do we get him into the dress?" Mar asked. Shiva and Juju looked at each other and then at the dress on the model.

"Shouldn't be too hard." Shiva answered. "Can you give me a boost Juju?"

-Back at the plant-

"CAT!!!" Optimus shouted as spiders and scorpions ran all over the floor. Sentinel was curled up in fetal position and whimpering. Looking around, Optimus saw Cat, sitting on a roof beam and drinking tea.

"Tea, Gov'ner?" She asked as he stomped closer, only to have the contents of the teacup poured on his helm.

"GET BACK HERE YOUNG LADY!!!" Cat laughed as she ran around the plant Optimus, Prowl, and Jazz chasing after her. Both ninja bots were covered in Japanese symbols and tissue paper. Ultra Magnus was glued to a chair, and Ratchet couldn't find any of his tools. Bulkhead and Sari weren't really sure what was going on.

-In the woods-

Megatron sighed. One simple day of peace and quiet, was that so hard to get these days?!? First Lugnut broke the computer, then Blitzwing decided to start dancing the cha-cha, which had led to Lugnut and Blitzwing getting into yet another fight. Megatron was just glad they weren't stupid enough to wreck the space bridge… Suddenly he stopped.

"A castle?" He murmured as he walked inside. The "castle" had only one room, a berthroom. Laying on the berth, sound asleep, was the little yellow Autobot… In a black dress with yellow trim.

"What the slag is with the constant 'ending up in organic armor' issue this brat has?" Megatron grumbled as he walked closer. The Autobot was so deep in recharge that he didn't even roll over or wake up. Megatron decided to take advantage of this situation. Leaning over, he kissed the younger mech on the lips.

Bumble Bee had to admit, if he hadn't been freaked out by the whole thing, he would have ripped the dress off and gone to find Cat and give her a piece of his processor. First the drugged energon, and now this. He hadn't expected to wake up with Megatron of all people kissing him. So yeah, he was freaked out. Only problem was, he enjoyed the kiss.

Megatron's optics widened when Bee woke up, but he smirked into the kiss when the Autobot didn't try to fight him. Leaning back, he extended a servo to help Bee off the berth. The dress was formed to fit perfectly, and Bee blushed as Megatron slipped his other servo over his aft. Megatron smirked at the reaction.

"Perhaps we ought to get this dress off you beforehand." He purred into Bee's audio receptor. The Autobot shivered and was about to answer when a roar came from outside. Both went outside to see the grey dragon from their last "fairy tale" laying on the ground, a saddle on its back. "I believe this is our ride, "Princess"." Megatron purred as he led Bee over to the dragon. Helping the Autobot on, Megatron found that there was a rope tied around the creature's muzzle to allow the rider control. Snapping the rope, Megatron smirk grew wider when Bee grabbed a hold of him to keep from falling off as they flew over the forest.

Bee leaned into Megatron's body as they were lifted off the ground. Maybe he could wait a while before lecturing Cat…

"Wow. That was not what we expected." Cat said as she looked over the video footage. Shiva and Juju grinned as Mar came back from the manufacturing plant. She looked over at Cat with a confused look on her face.

"How'd you get banned from the plant for a month?"

"Oh," Cat answered, "I let loose some arachnids, dumped tea on Optimus, painted and glued tissue paper onto Prowl and Jazz, glued Magnus to a chair, and hid all of Ratchet's tools. I have it all on tape." She smiled brightly. "Wanna watch?"


	4. King Arthur Spoof

Cat groaned and rubbed her head while Starscream and his clones argued over what to do with her. She wasn't really interested until Slipstream said that they ought to kill her. "Wait! Don't do that." Cat shouted to be heard over the Seekers. They all looked at her.

"And why not? I doubt any of the Autobots would mind." Starscream sneered as he picked up the cage they had thrown her in. Cat thought for a moment and came up with an idea.

"I know a great story! It's called "The Legend of King Optimus"! Wanna hear it? 'Cause if you kill me, you'll never find out how the king dies…" Cat smirked to herself as the Seeker fell into her trap.

"Fine. Tell us, but only because I want to find out how this king dies." Starscream grumbled and he put the cage on the table so they could all hear. Cat smiled and started her story:

"Long ago, in the land of Iocaland, there was a King by the name of Magnus. His only son and heir was named Optimus. These were troubled times, and the wise wizard Prowl advised the king that baby Optimus should be raised in secret, as to protect the boy from those who would steal his throne by killing the youth. When King Magnus died, Prowl put a sword in a stone, and on the sword was written "Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone is the rightwise born king of all England." Many men tried for the throne, but none could pull the sword out of the stone. None but Optimus, who managed to do it by chance, when he pulled the sword out for another to use in a contest. Under the instruction of Prowl, Optimus managed to retrieve the sword Excalibur from Lady Sari of the Lake.

He made his base in the city of Camelot, and surrounded himself with loyal knights. They defeated the Saxonbots, and went on a quest for the Holy Spark, said to cure all ills. His right-hand-man was Sir Megatron, who was sent to France to retrieve the king's bride, Queen Bumble Bee of France. While the journey was being made, King Optimus had an affair with a beautiful woman, who he was warned against by Prowl, who was his advisor. The woman turned out to be his half-sister, Starscream le Fay, a witch who was powerful in dark magic. Their union bore a son, Optimus's nephew, Thundercracker.

On Sir Megatron's return journey with the queen, the two fell madly in love, and even though Queen Bumble Bee went through with the wedding to King Optimus, the affair continued until a jealous lady-in-waiting alerted the king. He could not bring himself to kill either his wife or best friend, so he banished Sir Megatron from the kingdom. Years would pass before his death however.

During the battle at Camlan, Thundercracker and Optimus were both mortally wounded, only out of the king's foolishness and Thundercracker's betrayal of his uncle and father. The king had forgotten the scabbard of Excalibur, which would protect the user from any mortal wound. While Thundercracker's fate is unknown, it is said that after the king died his body was transported to the Island of Avalon, where it rests to this day. Others say that the king was sent to Avalon to be treated by three mysterious maidens, and that he was laid under a hill and will rise again one day with his knights to save his country once more." Cat looked around and noticed that all the Seekers but Skywarp were asleep. Skywarp let her out, blushing when she pecked him on the cheek and called him her "knight in shining armor" before leaving. Arriving back at the plant, she decided not to tell the others of this little adventure, only for the sake of not getting lectured again. But it didn't mean she wouldn't let Shiva, Juju, and Mar listen to the tape she had recorded of her Cybertronian version of "The Legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table"…


End file.
